There is a gentleman in my phone that I like. I think he’s pretty and funny and kinda smart and he’s cool. Like I said, I like the gentleman, but I don’t think its reciprocated and that’s okay, I’m a big girl, I’ll get over it, sis is grown. But because I like him, my mind’s been playing tricks on me. it’s got me thinking all sorts of odd shit. Odd shit like me and said gentleman going down to the courts to sign some papers ( coz weddings are unnecessarily expensive) and raising a couple of little people that look like both of us.

Anyone who knows me knows this is the stretch of a lifetime. I have never really understood the institution of marriage. “Oh hey, I love you. Let me bring in God and the government to make sure you never leave me.” Y’all don’t find that odd? Even a little? Like I just told you I love you, and I am willing to start a family with you. What more do you want? But that’s just me and my cynicism.

I’m getting sidetracked here. So anyway, while I’m thinking about the nice ( okay, he’s a bit of a dick but not the point) gentleman raising our pretty little babies in our pretty little home, I’m also thinking about the number of people who would be disappointed in me for choosing this particular life.

There has been a rise in this wave of hostility against marriage that masquerades itself as feminism. That wave terrifies me . We have sadly accepted this wrong ideal that wanting marriage or romance in the least is unfeminist. It is not. Feminism is grounded in equality and choice. If someone chooses to be married to a nice gentleman in their phone, so let it be. If they choose not to be, still, let them be.

I used to have a picture in my phone and I just spent the last half hour trying to find it for you . It says:

There is nothing unfeminist about the girl who wants the fairytale.

There is everything unfeminist about the girl who tells her she shouldn’t want it.


To each is own. We can’t dictate to each other who to love and how to love them. Sadly we have created an environment where people can’t even want what they want because it feels like a betrayal of the cause. That’s not it though.

My point is I still don’t think marriage is for me. I have my reservations about it. However, I like knowing that it’s an option that I have should I choose to pursue it. I like knowing that at any point, I can change my mind without having to explain myself.

About that gentleman in my phoneπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
I don’t think it’s going anywhere, but I like knowing that the possibility exists. But like I said kushushu guys. Besides, I know myself, eventually, I will get tired of it and get over it. Ngimdala.